Posts Tagged ‘odious woman’


Under Gods Command 

Proverbs 27:15-16 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; Restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand

Can you restrain the wind? No! Can you hide the smell of cologne – once it is out? No! All those present know if the wind is blowing or whether you are wearing cologne or not. You cannot hide either of them. And if a man marries an odious woman, neither can he hide her obnoxious ways. Those around him know he has a difficult and painful marriage.

There is a woman in this proverb, indicated by the feminine pronoun “her.” You do not want to meet her – and you surely do not want to marry her! She is the contentious woman from the previous verse that cruelly drives her husband crazy (Pr 27:15). The poor man cannot restrain or disguise her any more than he can hide the wind or the strong scent of his cologne. Everyone knows he is condemned for life with an odious woman.

The Creator God inspired Solomon to write this proverb. He made the woman for the man, and He knew her better than all psychologists and therapists combined (I Cor 11:9; I Tim 2:13-14; II Tim 3:6-7; I Pet 3:7). Since Solomon wrote for the benefit of his son (Pr 27:11), he warned often of the seductive threat of the strange woman and of the marital threat of the odious woman. Both women are worse than death (Pr 30:21-23; Eccl 7:26).

The Bible is a library of divine wisdom. It deals openly with subjects often not discussed due to foolish ideas of etiquette. But God loves His children and tells the truth plainly to save them from pain and trouble. When men talk among themselves, they also tell the truth – they laugh and groan about irritating and nagging wives. Of course, her husband cannot tell her, for she would set him straight and send him to the couch for the night!

What is a contentious woman? She is a talkative woman that must express her opinions, correct details in conversation, question most everything, and make constant suggestions no one asked for. She is an irritating, quarrelsome, and obnoxious person. She cannot think, speak, or act graciously, because she cannot identify or appreciate that virtue; she has an arrogant, haughty, incorrigible spirit that argues, criticizes, and questions.

Few odious women think they are odious. Of course not! That is why they are odious! They cannot recognize that the conduct they think is fine and helpful is actually what angers and disgusts those around them. If you suggest she talks too much, she will defend herself by saying her opinions are helpful and useful – how can she be wrong to offer them? When hearing the Bible preached plainly, she assumes it must be for someone else.

How does this woman give herself away? Her husband is beat. He is neutered, for this wretch stole his confidence, strength, and vitality. She talks too much, so you only need listen for the woman with her mouth flapping. If she is not a yacker, look for the sour face that rarely smiles and never warmly. She has no real friends, for no one desires her painful presence. Her social interaction may only be the evil habit of being a busybody.

No man wants others to know he lives in a marital hell, so he tries to hide the odious and repulsive character of his wife. This is what Solomon said was as difficult as holding the wind or the scent of cologne in your hand. Both will get away from you! Both will be discovered by those around you! It is impossible to disguise or hide the hairy, grunting, and stinking sow when trying to display the gold ring in her nose (Pr 11:22)!

Men use various techniques to hide their disgraceful wives. One man tries to hide his contentious wife by avoiding public excursions with her. He works late, finds hobbies, or just refuses to go out. Another may foolishly try to deceive his friends by complimenting her to them (though they all know better). One man will weakly submit to her overbearing demands and questions to avoid a public squabble. And another will pamper her greedy soul with anything in sight to buy a little peace and tranquility for himself.

Such women do not deserve husbands, and no man deserves such a wife. Since this despised wretch can disguise herself during dating, every man must learn how to spot the telltale marks that reveal her cruel character (Pr 30:21-23). They are simple. She talks too much, has a proud spirit, is forward to speak, has opinions on everything, disagrees in public, gets visibly agitated, complains about circumstances, and questions everything.

Another way to avoid an odious woman is to learn graciousness and virtue and reject all women lacking them, for a great wife has both (Pr 31:10-31). The best way to spot a counterfeit is to know the genuine thing perfectly. The best way to smell an odious woman is to know the sweet nature of a gracious woman. Still afraid? A gracious woman is always adored by all (Pr 11:16). The odious woman only thinks she is respected.

Some men are male versions of the same thing. They talk too much, complain about everything, argue and debate no matter what is said, question accepted opinions and decisions, and so forth. These men should be avoided in all social unions as much as the odious woman should be avoided in marriage. Contentious persons that cause division and strife should be rejected, for they are destructive of peace and pleasure (Pr 22:10).

There are several lessons. First, every man must test a potential wife and believe the opinions of married men about her. Second, every young woman should emphasize graciousness and virtue above other objectives in her life. Third, every man married to a contentious woman needs to find an attic room or wilderness retreat (Pr 21:9,19; 25:24).

Fourth, every woman tending toward the odious character described here should repent before God, her husband, her children, and seek to live graciously. Fifth, you should warn any young man you know who is about to marry an odious woman. Sixth, every man married to a gracious and loving woman should thank God and take her out tonight!

The Bible helps men by warning them about odious women, but it also teaches women how to be gracious and virtuous, if they will learn the lesson and apply it (Pr 31:10-16; I Tim 2:9-10; 5:13-14; Titus 2:3-5; I Pet 3:1-6). However, most pulpits today are too fearful to tell the truth about females in attendance, so practical and useful subjects like this are seldom or never dealt with. They do not want to offend their odious attendees.

True churches are the bride and wife of Jesus Christ; God arranged for His son to marry them, and they will live forever in intimate bliss with Him in heaven. Does this glorious Husband openly delight in you? Or is He ashamed of your offensive ways? He threatened to spew the church of Laodicea out of His mouth (Rev 3:14-19). He threatened to leave the church at Ephesus (Rev 2:4-5). Is He totally happy with your spirit and conduct?

 


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. 

Two horrible things can happen to a man. He can marry an odious woman, or he can have foolish children. Both are disasters and make marriage and children very sober matters. The persons and relationships that should be for help and pleasure become like enemies. It is wisdom to carefully consider these potential threats and avoid them at all costs.

This proverb is priceless. The two matters at stake are very serious – an unhappy marriage or shameful children. Either one tortures and destroys a man over many years. A man enduring both faces daily pain hard to describe in words. But God gave this proverb by King Solomon to save you from both evils, and He reduced it down to one single, simple rule. Glorious wisdom! Incredible mercy and kindness! Keep reading!

Contentious women know how to get a man, a foolish man. They decorate the outside, their physical appearance, by many means, to capture his eyes. They hide and disguise what is inside, their character defects and faults, by a show of grace, respect, submission, and love. These efforts are made until the wedding is over. Then the odious wife makes her appearance (Pr 30:21-23)! And what a hideous and ugly sight she is! Poor fool!

The careless man now has a disease worse than cancer – he has fallen into the torments of hell on earth – he has fallen under a curse worse than death (Eccl 7:26). He must go home to this wretch every day for the rest of his life, and he has to sleep with her! He quickly learns to work extra hours, take up hobbies like hunting, or build a detached workshop to get away from the noise of this nagging and brawling creature (Pr 21:9,19; 25:24).

In public he tries to hide her, but how can he? She is as obvious as a huge sow attached to a small piece of gold jewelry (Pr 11:22). The poor man cannot avoid his great shame, for everyone sees he has married a repugnant and revolting corruption of the fairer sex (Pr 27:15-16). He knows both friends and enemies whisper about his horrible life at home.

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but the woman here is rottenness in his bones (Pr 12:4). So bitter is the pain of the wrong woman that Solomon thought it worse than death (Eccl 7:26). And he listed an irritating wife as one of the great curses of earthly life (Pr 30:21-23). The poor husband cries, “O precious death, take me from her!”

A contentious wife will question, discuss, debate, or oppose most anything. She presumes her ideas are at least as good as his. She constantly talks back. She is proud, stubborn, and self-righteous. She cannot follow; she must lead. She asks too many questions, makes too many suggestions, and does not cheerfully obey. She loves to correct her husband, who never gets facts just right. But she will seldom accept correction herself. She always has a reason why tonight is not a good night! Or why the next morning is not night!

The continual dropping here is a very rainy day (Pr 27:15). You cannot stop it; it keeps on dropping. You cannot stop her noise and resistance. These are not pleasant raindrops on a secure roof; they are the irritating drops of a leaking roof that destroy tranquility and peace. Any man who has tried to sleep near a leaking faucet understands perfectly. She is torture! The foolish son may be cast out; the contentious wife must be endured. The foolish son is in his room; the contentious wife is in your bed! O take me, precious death!

Therefore, let every man take great care how he marries and how his sons marry. Young fools do not know how to judge women, so fathers must help them, lest they are consigned to fifty years with this woman. Fathers, by the very nature of the relationship, you have more experience in marriage to a woman than your son has in the ignorance and folly of childhood and youth. You have been married longer than he has been alive!

It is a shame this rebellious generation thinks they can make this far-reaching decision on their own. So there is an epidemic of dysfunctional marriages, divorces, and adultery. Young man, it is far better to be lonely and frustrated in your own house and bed than to marry an odious woman and have to live and sleep with her for your entire future. There is something worse than being single and lonely – being married to the wrong woman!

If you have married poorly, dear man, repent of your folly and allow no more. Marriage must be managed by the divine rule of subjection, and if you compromise here, the dropping will continue (Gen 3:16; I Cor 11:3,8-12; 14:34-35; Eph 5:22-24,33; Col 3:18; Tit 2:5). If she professes any fear of God, bring her to her Creator’s throne and show her both His wise design and sentence of judgment (I Tim 2:13-14). If this fails, Christian husband, bring her to the church by the Lord’s prescription (Matt 18:15-17; I Cor 6:1-8).

Every man who has a virtuous wife (Pr 31:10-31), gracious and kind, meek and quiet, should first thank his Father in heaven for such protective mercy and then take the good woman out for a meal and praise her a few times. She deserves it. You owe it. God has saved you from a life of soul-sapping, heart-rending, mood-altering, body-denying agony.

Let every woman examine herself in the only honest and true mirror in the world – the Bible (Jas 1:21-26; Ps 19:7-14). After seeing your blemishes and defects, make the required changes for the reward. Reject the foolish fantasies of society and your selfish thoughts about yourself (Ps 119:128; Is 8:20). Read God’s opinion, as you just have. Then prove your own work and rejoice in yourself (Pr 14:14; Gal 6:4-5; I Pet 3:1-6).

A foolish son is also a horrible thing in a man’s life. It can steal the joy and life out of your soul, knowing that you generated and trained an idiot. The Preacher saw foolish sons, for he had foolish brothers, and his son Rehoboam was a fool. Read his pain and learn the sober lesson (Pr 10:1; 15:20; 17:21,25; 23:15-16,24-25; 29:3,15). It is wisdom to learn from the mistakes and pain of others – so pay attention and grasp this lesson.

A calamity is very grievous affliction or adversity; it is deep distress, trouble, and misery. It is a painful disaster. It is the turning of things upside down. It is a catastrophe and tragedy that bleeds the vitality from a father’s heart. This does not overstate the grief caused by a foolish son, for a son instead should be the joy of his father’s heart. And where a father could be thankful and honored, he is instead bewildered and despised.

Fathers! Train the foolishness out of your son, while there is hope (Pr 22:15; 19:18). Here is a calamity you can avoid (Pr 29:17). Save your son! Save yourself! If you neglect his training, he will default to foolishness (Pr 29:15). His training is a commandment (Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4), and the Preacher tells you what will work – the rod and reproof (Pr 29:15; 23:13-14). A loving father will train his son, and he will start early; a hateful father will neglect him to the hurt of them both in the long run (Pr 13:24; 8:33-36).

If you are too busy, too tired, too reserved, too slothful, too interested in other things, or use any other excuse to avoid training him, you will bear your burden. Calamity and shame will come, unless you repent and beg for God’s mercy and the recovery of lost years when you should have done your simple duty (Pr 29:15; 13:15; Gal 6:5; Joel 2:25).

If you have a foolish son, repent and beg God to help you recover him (Joel 2:23-27). Bring your authoritative and loving instruction to bear by whatever means you have. Further compromise will bring greater pain in the future, as with Eli (I Sam 2:29; 3:13). If your son fears God, bring him before his Creator and remind him of his duties (Eph 6:1-3). If he persists and is a church member, bring him before the church (Matt 18:15-17).

Every man who has wise and noble sons should first thank God his Father for such protective and kind mercy and then praise and honor his sons for their faithfulness. There is nothing that should open a father’s wallet as quickly and as wide as a wise and obedient son. Being overbearing all the time will discourage them (Col 3:21; Eph 6:4).

Let every son, of any age, examine himself in the only honest mirror – the word of God (Jas 1:21-26). Are you a joy to your father? Or are there things you know you should be doing better? Correct them! Reject the insolent notions of your wicked generation and your rebellious thoughts of folly. Read God’s opinion about young men, as Proverbs clearly declares. Then prove your own work and rejoice in yourself (Pr 14:14; Gal 6:4-5).

Both dangers to your happiness and success, an odious wife or a foolish son, are solved by one simple rule – the fear of the LORD. If you marry a woman that truly fears the LORD, you will have a jewel for life (Pr 31:30; I Pet 3:1-6). If you teach your son the same fear from early days, he will rejoice your heart (Ps 34:11; Eccl 12:13-14). It is this simple, and the only wise God and history’s wisest king wrote it down for you. Priceless!

Dear Christian reader, what kind of a wife and son are you to your Husband and Father in heaven? Does your Bridegroom rejoice in your constant fidelity, passionate love, and joyful submission? Or are you an odious stench in His house? Is your Heavenly Father pleased with the blessing of adopting you? Or are you a son that needs to be chastened often? Let every reader examine himself to fulfill his Husband’s and Father’s desires.

And further, dear reader, the proverb teaches the disappointment of this world’s greatest privileges and pleasures, even though ordained by a perfect Creator. The very things prized very highly, marriage and children, can so easily bring the greatest miseries. Without His grace, all is vanity and vexation of spirit! Here is the great lesson that God alone must be the portion and the treasure of your soul (Ps 73:25-26; Matt 6:19-21).


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 29:6 An evil man is snared by his own sin, but a righteous one can sing and be glad. 

Some fall into this trouble and then that trouble. Others go through life happily singing! What makes the difference? The answer is worth your attention! You can have a life of pain and problems, or you can have a life filled with joy and pleasure. Which will it be?

An evil man chooses to transgress against a commandment of God. He wants to do things his own way. He has no real regard or respect for the word of God. He is in love with his own thoughts. He believes he can get away with his sin. He is convinced that he can find happiness by sinning. He confidently rejects wisdom to choose the path of fools.

But he is deceived! Every sin has a snare! There is an unseen trap to punish him for his rebellion against God. Though he did not see the snare when he chose to sin, the rusty claws of the trap will suddenly spring shut on his life. Then he will feel the painful results of a foolish choice (Ps 36:2; Pr 4:19; 13:15; 28:14). He despises the only way out of the trap – full repentance – which for him is like using a pocket knife to whittle off his leg!

Consider examples. A man marries a beautiful woman who does not fear God. Is there a snare? He must live with an odious woman until death! A woman defrauds her husband of daily sex. Is there a snare? She must live with a bitter husband the rest of her life! A man discreetly visits a whore. Is there a snare? He catches an STD! A lazy father neglects child training. Is there a snare? A rebellious child breaks his heart and shames the family!

Consider more examples. A man ridicules the government in his home (Ec 10:20). Is there a snare? His children show the same arrogant rebellion against him. A haughty son chooses to disregard his father’s advice. Is there a snare? He marries a whorish woman and picks a career in a dying industry. A man refuses to save because he loves spending. Is there a snare? He can never invest with his friends and is soon bankrupt. A woman complains about her life. Is there a snare? Her children run away to find joy and peace.

But the righteous man lives a holy life. He carefully lives in obedience to all God’s commandments. He trembles before the word of God. He quickly confesses any sins, and his merciful heavenly Father restores his spirit. His conscience is pure and confident. He has no fear, guilt, or shame. He sleeps well at night, and is gloriously content. His soul is full of pleasure now and with great hope for the future. He sings with great joy! He enjoys every aspect of his life, seeing things to be thankful for everywhere he looks.

Pleasure is the fruit of godliness, and godliness with contentment is great gain (I Tim 6:6). If God says it is gain, it is gain! The holy life is safe from harm, free from guilt, free from trouble. There are no snares in doing right, no vexing remorse or painful results. There is no smitten conscience or hypocritical quandary. The righteous man has a feast every day (Pr 3:17; 15:15)! And he knows even greater blessings are coming at death!

God knows you want to be happy, so He told you how in this proverb and elsewhere in the Bible (Ps 34:12-16; Ps 127:5; 128:2; 144:15; Pr 3:13,18; 14:21; 16:20; 29:18). He knows more about happiness and true contentment and fulfillment than all men living. Do you consult His owner’s manual for life – the Bible? Do you attend a church where a man He has appointed preaches the truth and wisdom from that Bible for your happiness?

Reader, do you understand? Have you seen troubled and painful lives? Have you been troubled yourself? It is your fault! You chose to break God’s wise rules, and the snare of sin caught you. There is a snare in every sin. Stop sinning, and you can recover your tranquility (Pr 11:6; 12:13). Where are you cheating God? The trap is ready to spring. Let the righteous man joyfully sing, for his life is blessed and his future will be even better!


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 21:19  Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

Young man! Being single is bad, and you are frustrated and lonely, but marrying an odious woman is worse. Save yourself! Marrying a difficult woman can give you more grief than you can imagine. Do not get near a woman that likes to debate or has a temper.

The Bible is not just theology. God created women and ordered how they should behave, and Solomon had seen and felt the pain of bad wives, so they warned you often to avoid certain women (Pr 12:4; 14:1; 19:13; 21:9,19; 25:24; 27:15-16; 30:21-23; 31:10-12).

Solomon knew what he wrote about. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines (second-class wives). The grief of a contentious and angry wife for one day can cure a man of desiring marriage. Solomon had 1000 women! God inspired this expert to give you marriage advice: do not marry a disagreeable woman. Marriage can be worse than being single.

Young man! Do you like camping in a hut in the woods by yourself? If you do not, you are normal. Most men would dread such a lonely situation. But remember, such camping is better than living in a fine home with luxurious furnishings and fare, if the woman in that house with you is a critical, negative, overbearing, tense, or easily-irritated woman.

What is a contentious woman? One that likes to contend – who likes to argue, criticize, disagree, fight, oppose, or question. She is full of questions, reminders, and suggestions – all to help, of course. Rather than dote on you, she will nag; rather than sweetly agree, she will question and suggest alternatives – until you wish you were single in the woods.

What is an angry woman? She cannot rule her spirit and likes to fight. She is easily angered, dissatisfied, irritated, negative, or resentful. She can find something negative about any event, and she frets and talks most about that. She is not satisfied. She is hardly ever content, seldom your sweet lover, but always irritated and stressed about something.

Young man! These odious women – hateful and repulsive – will deceive you (Pr 30:21-23). They will lure you into marriage, and then it is too late. Solomon warned that they can appear nice when courting and dating, but then the marriage trap shuts on your neck. You need to be very wise by knowing both positive and negative traits to measure.

Remember the rule of ten. Any hint of a difficult or overbearing spirit before marriage will be ten times worse afterward. Test her. Ask her to do something she dislikes. If you see her face fall, detect negative body language, or even smell irritation, run for the woods. Be single for life rather than married to her. Let her be single until she grows up.

No wonder the apostles responded the way they did when Jesus taught His strict rules about divorce. In light of little room for divorce, it would be better not to marry. They were afraid of getting trapped in a marriage with a contentious and angry woman. Young men should consider the grave seriousness of marriage and carefully examine a prospect.

There are many agreeable, cheerful, gracious, submissive, sweet, and reverent women. They can make you feel like a king in seconds, and marriage to them is royal bliss. They are warm, kind, charming, and pleasant. They have no harsh or rough edges. Reject any woman that is even slightly critical, moody, opinionated, or questioning. She does not deserve a husband. You do not deserve such pain. You deserve a real woman. Find one.

The odious woman cannot smell herself. She thinks she is helpful by prodding, asking questions, stressing over details, giving reminders, expecting perfection, or disliking a choice. If you were to ask her, she would say she is a good woman and wife. If you were to ask her mother, she would praise her as well (Ezek 16:44). But all others must hold their noses at the smell her husband cannot hide to his own shame (Pr 27:15-16)!

Here is the first rule to save you. Only consider or date a girl or woman that has an independent fear of God. Do not be influenced by her looks or kindness (Pr 31:30). This girl or woman loves God and will live by the Bible in every part of her life with or without your help. She loves Jesus Christ, godly living, hard preaching, and hates worldliness. She will treat you for her entire life the way the Bible tells her. You win!

Here is the second rule to save you. Learn the character traits of godly women from the Bible and expect all of them. Look for extreme diligence or hard work (Pr 31:13-27). Look for graciousness, especially in speech (Pr 11:16). Look for great respect to her parents (Eph 6:1-3). Look for love and kindness to others without any critical edges (I Cor 13:4-7). Look for a forgiving spirit that overlooks the faults of others (Col 3:12-15).

Young man! Your future is at stake. Learn the warnings in these proverbs about odious women. Believe them. Fear the pain of marriage to such a creature. Be prudent. Test a prospect, and watch her reaction closely. Is her mother a charming, desirable, and gracious woman, or not? Ask married men their opinions, for their sense of smell is finely tuned. Do not rush to marriage. Never take a chance with a fifty-year, horrible fate!

Christian girl or woman! Learn to love your place and role in the world – you were made for a husband (Gen 2:18; I Cor 11:9; I Tim 2:13). Get rid of your own opinions, for your desires are to be your husband’s (Gen 3:16). Learn and maximize graciousness, and you will always be loved (Pr 11:16). Learn the wisdom of Abigail (I Sam 25:21-35). Godly women do not contend with their husbands; they submit, obey, and reverence them (Eph 5:22-24,33; Tit 2:3-5). Godly women are not irritable or negative (Pr 31:26; I Pet 3:1-4).

Christian parent! It is your duty to train your children from Solomon’s proverbs to learn wisdom for great marriages and great families. Boys should be taught and shown by clear examples the differences between a gracious woman and an odious woman, so they will know what kind to marry. Girls should be shown and taught the same differences and required to live the godly way, so that some noble prince of a Christian man will want to marry them. Lead and rule their marital decisions in light of this wisdom for their profit.

 


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 27:02 Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

Dwelling on the honors you deserve can only be harmful. If can make you bitter, discouraged, or angry, and it will not bring you the rewards that you think should be yours. Pining for what you should have received may make you miss the satisfaction of knowing you did your best.

Do not talk about yourself. Do not talk about your job, your family, your car, or anything that is yours. Think and talk about others and their things. Ask questions about the welfare of others, rather than telling your situation, difficulties, abilities, or blessings. As too much honey will make you sick, self-promotion is also sickening.
Here is a key difference between gracious and odious people. An odious woman is a master at slipping in her opinions, experiences, expertise, and her insightful wisdom. But a gracious woman never talks about herself. She is always inquiring sincerely about the welfare of others. It is the Lord’s praise that counts, not your own (II Cor 10:18)
Odious people are disappointed if you do not praise them enough, ask enough questions about them, and listen intently for them to tell you about their life. But gracious persons, neglecting themselves, are always commending others, pursuing them, and praising them.