Posts Tagged ‘virtuous woman’

Under Gods Command

Proverbs 31:19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

A woman’s hands are important and valuable. They are for more than carrying a diamond ring. They are for more than regular manicures. They are for more than holding while walking in the park. They are for manual labor, and a virtuous woman is willing to use them diligently and skillfully. She is not afraid to dirty her hands to get a job done, and she is not afraid to acquire skills with her hands to serve her family and build the estate.

Solomon mentions hands many times, because they are the principal body part for work, especially manual labor. Diligent persons use their hands well (Pr 10:4; 12:24). Slothful persons hide their hands (Pr 6:10-11; 19:24; 21:25; 26:6; Eccl 4:5). No wonder job advertisements may ask for a “hands on” type, who will “roll up his sleeves” and get a job done. A virtuous woman has busy hands that earn rewards (Pr 31:13,16,19-20,31).

Hands are important. A woman’s “elbow grease,” by using her hands diligently, can build the family estate with “sweat equity.” Anything a woman finds to do with her hands, she should do it with her might (Eccl 9:10). A lazy woman destroys the family estate by not using her hands diligently (Pr 14:1; Eccl 10:18). Spiders are in kings’ palaces, because they have numerous hands and are not discouraged at all by repetitive tasks (Pr 30:28).

The virtuous woman despises “hand outs” and the lazy women that accept them, whether from government programs or private charity, for she knows God expects her to work hard or she and her family should not get to eat (Pr 20:4; II Thess 3:6-12). Neither will she or her family live “hand to mouth,” for God also taught her to set aside some revenue for future needs – so her savings account is always growing. Full of energy as God expects, she takes the time to put forth a “helping hand” to those in need (Pr 31:20).

However, diligent hands are not enough. A woman needs to be skillful at hand tasks. God prepared wise and skilled women to spin the various fabrics for the complex decorating of the tabernacle (Ex 35:25-26). The English language originally called such skillful women spinsters, though that name now has very different connotations. A woman must know how to do domestic and other hand tasks skillfully in order to be a virtuous wife.

The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 was a very competent woman at many levels. She bought and managed commercial real estate and manufacturing businesses to help build the family estate (Pr 31:16,24), and she could also spin thread from raw materials. She could take a spinning wheel and loom and teach maidens how to make cloth perfectly (Pr 31:15). She could do the work herself, show how it should be done, and teach others.

A virtuous woman in the 21st century does not spin cloth to make clothes. It would be a waste of her talents and time. She can buy the finished product with superior construction and appearance for comparatively nothing. She is better off learning other skills and using her earnings to buy clothing and other textile products. But when the situation calls for it, she can “do it from scratch,” whether in the closet or the kitchen. When she needs to, she can make cakes fit for the LORD and savory dishes that would make a chef jealous (Gen 18:6; 27:9). This is a woman worth marrying, young man!

What should a woman learn to do skillfully today? Plan and execute great meals for two or a crowd. Keep a computer working. Know first aid and be able to converse with doctors. Use the Internet for quick research on many subjects. Know where she is going for what when she leaves the home. Communicate effectively and quickly by phone or email. Know how to source the optimal food, furnishings, and clothing at the lowest cost. Operate a calculator and balance a checkbook in minutes. Use word processing, spreadsheet, or accounting software. Decorate a house for appeal, comfort, and investment. Find and use the best appliances and tools inside and outside the house.

This is the perfect woman, as described by a queen mother for her son (Pr 31:1-2,10). She fears the LORD with all her heart (Pr 31:30). Her husband can trust in her completely, because she will do him good and right every day of her life (Pr 31:11-12). After these two priorities, she is a diligent worker to provide for her family, her home, and build the family estate in any way she can. She is diligent and skillful in the use of her hands.

Under Gods Command

Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. 

Two horrible things can happen to a man. He can marry an odious woman, or he can have foolish children. Both are disasters and make marriage and children very sober matters. The persons and relationships that should be for help and pleasure become like enemies. It is wisdom to carefully consider these potential threats and avoid them at all costs.

This proverb is priceless. The two matters at stake are very serious – an unhappy marriage or shameful children. Either one tortures and destroys a man over many years. A man enduring both faces daily pain hard to describe in words. But God gave this proverb by King Solomon to save you from both evils, and He reduced it down to one single, simple rule. Glorious wisdom! Incredible mercy and kindness! Keep reading!

Contentious women know how to get a man, a foolish man. They decorate the outside, their physical appearance, by many means, to capture his eyes. They hide and disguise what is inside, their character defects and faults, by a show of grace, respect, submission, and love. These efforts are made until the wedding is over. Then the odious wife makes her appearance (Pr 30:21-23)! And what a hideous and ugly sight she is! Poor fool!

The careless man now has a disease worse than cancer – he has fallen into the torments of hell on earth – he has fallen under a curse worse than death (Eccl 7:26). He must go home to this wretch every day for the rest of his life, and he has to sleep with her! He quickly learns to work extra hours, take up hobbies like hunting, or build a detached workshop to get away from the noise of this nagging and brawling creature (Pr 21:9,19; 25:24).

In public he tries to hide her, but how can he? She is as obvious as a huge sow attached to a small piece of gold jewelry (Pr 11:22). The poor man cannot avoid his great shame, for everyone sees he has married a repugnant and revolting corruption of the fairer sex (Pr 27:15-16). He knows both friends and enemies whisper about his horrible life at home.

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but the woman here is rottenness in his bones (Pr 12:4). So bitter is the pain of the wrong woman that Solomon thought it worse than death (Eccl 7:26). And he listed an irritating wife as one of the great curses of earthly life (Pr 30:21-23). The poor husband cries, “O precious death, take me from her!”

A contentious wife will question, discuss, debate, or oppose most anything. She presumes her ideas are at least as good as his. She constantly talks back. She is proud, stubborn, and self-righteous. She cannot follow; she must lead. She asks too many questions, makes too many suggestions, and does not cheerfully obey. She loves to correct her husband, who never gets facts just right. But she will seldom accept correction herself. She always has a reason why tonight is not a good night! Or why the next morning is not night!

The continual dropping here is a very rainy day (Pr 27:15). You cannot stop it; it keeps on dropping. You cannot stop her noise and resistance. These are not pleasant raindrops on a secure roof; they are the irritating drops of a leaking roof that destroy tranquility and peace. Any man who has tried to sleep near a leaking faucet understands perfectly. She is torture! The foolish son may be cast out; the contentious wife must be endured. The foolish son is in his room; the contentious wife is in your bed! O take me, precious death!

Therefore, let every man take great care how he marries and how his sons marry. Young fools do not know how to judge women, so fathers must help them, lest they are consigned to fifty years with this woman. Fathers, by the very nature of the relationship, you have more experience in marriage to a woman than your son has in the ignorance and folly of childhood and youth. You have been married longer than he has been alive!

It is a shame this rebellious generation thinks they can make this far-reaching decision on their own. So there is an epidemic of dysfunctional marriages, divorces, and adultery. Young man, it is far better to be lonely and frustrated in your own house and bed than to marry an odious woman and have to live and sleep with her for your entire future. There is something worse than being single and lonely – being married to the wrong woman!

If you have married poorly, dear man, repent of your folly and allow no more. Marriage must be managed by the divine rule of subjection, and if you compromise here, the dropping will continue (Gen 3:16; I Cor 11:3,8-12; 14:34-35; Eph 5:22-24,33; Col 3:18; Tit 2:5). If she professes any fear of God, bring her to her Creator’s throne and show her both His wise design and sentence of judgment (I Tim 2:13-14). If this fails, Christian husband, bring her to the church by the Lord’s prescription (Matt 18:15-17; I Cor 6:1-8).

Every man who has a virtuous wife (Pr 31:10-31), gracious and kind, meek and quiet, should first thank his Father in heaven for such protective mercy and then take the good woman out for a meal and praise her a few times. She deserves it. You owe it. God has saved you from a life of soul-sapping, heart-rending, mood-altering, body-denying agony.

Let every woman examine herself in the only honest and true mirror in the world – the Bible (Jas 1:21-26; Ps 19:7-14). After seeing your blemishes and defects, make the required changes for the reward. Reject the foolish fantasies of society and your selfish thoughts about yourself (Ps 119:128; Is 8:20). Read God’s opinion, as you just have. Then prove your own work and rejoice in yourself (Pr 14:14; Gal 6:4-5; I Pet 3:1-6).

A foolish son is also a horrible thing in a man’s life. It can steal the joy and life out of your soul, knowing that you generated and trained an idiot. The Preacher saw foolish sons, for he had foolish brothers, and his son Rehoboam was a fool. Read his pain and learn the sober lesson (Pr 10:1; 15:20; 17:21,25; 23:15-16,24-25; 29:3,15). It is wisdom to learn from the mistakes and pain of others – so pay attention and grasp this lesson.

A calamity is very grievous affliction or adversity; it is deep distress, trouble, and misery. It is a painful disaster. It is the turning of things upside down. It is a catastrophe and tragedy that bleeds the vitality from a father’s heart. This does not overstate the grief caused by a foolish son, for a son instead should be the joy of his father’s heart. And where a father could be thankful and honored, he is instead bewildered and despised.

Fathers! Train the foolishness out of your son, while there is hope (Pr 22:15; 19:18). Here is a calamity you can avoid (Pr 29:17). Save your son! Save yourself! If you neglect his training, he will default to foolishness (Pr 29:15). His training is a commandment (Pr 22:6; Eph 6:4), and the Preacher tells you what will work – the rod and reproof (Pr 29:15; 23:13-14). A loving father will train his son, and he will start early; a hateful father will neglect him to the hurt of them both in the long run (Pr 13:24; 8:33-36).

If you are too busy, too tired, too reserved, too slothful, too interested in other things, or use any other excuse to avoid training him, you will bear your burden. Calamity and shame will come, unless you repent and beg for God’s mercy and the recovery of lost years when you should have done your simple duty (Pr 29:15; 13:15; Gal 6:5; Joel 2:25).

If you have a foolish son, repent and beg God to help you recover him (Joel 2:23-27). Bring your authoritative and loving instruction to bear by whatever means you have. Further compromise will bring greater pain in the future, as with Eli (I Sam 2:29; 3:13). If your son fears God, bring him before his Creator and remind him of his duties (Eph 6:1-3). If he persists and is a church member, bring him before the church (Matt 18:15-17).

Every man who has wise and noble sons should first thank God his Father for such protective and kind mercy and then praise and honor his sons for their faithfulness. There is nothing that should open a father’s wallet as quickly and as wide as a wise and obedient son. Being overbearing all the time will discourage them (Col 3:21; Eph 6:4).

Let every son, of any age, examine himself in the only honest mirror – the word of God (Jas 1:21-26). Are you a joy to your father? Or are there things you know you should be doing better? Correct them! Reject the insolent notions of your wicked generation and your rebellious thoughts of folly. Read God’s opinion about young men, as Proverbs clearly declares. Then prove your own work and rejoice in yourself (Pr 14:14; Gal 6:4-5).

Both dangers to your happiness and success, an odious wife or a foolish son, are solved by one simple rule – the fear of the LORD. If you marry a woman that truly fears the LORD, you will have a jewel for life (Pr 31:30; I Pet 3:1-6). If you teach your son the same fear from early days, he will rejoice your heart (Ps 34:11; Eccl 12:13-14). It is this simple, and the only wise God and history’s wisest king wrote it down for you. Priceless!

Dear Christian reader, what kind of a wife and son are you to your Husband and Father in heaven? Does your Bridegroom rejoice in your constant fidelity, passionate love, and joyful submission? Or are you an odious stench in His house? Is your Heavenly Father pleased with the blessing of adopting you? Or are you a son that needs to be chastened often? Let every reader examine himself to fulfill his Husband’s and Father’s desires.

And further, dear reader, the proverb teaches the disappointment of this world’s greatest privileges and pleasures, even though ordained by a perfect Creator. The very things prized very highly, marriage and children, can so easily bring the greatest miseries. Without His grace, all is vanity and vexation of spirit! Here is the great lesson that God alone must be the portion and the treasure of your soul (Ps 73:25-26; Matt 6:19-21).

Under Gods Command

 Proverbs 31:20  She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

The virtuous woman has more on her mind than just her family. Her ambitions, energy, and plans extend to the poor and needy that God has placed in her path. Rather than be content with having her husband, children, and home well cared for and happy, she has a conscience that drives her to take care of others who cannot take care of themselves.

Her thoughts toward the poor and needy are more than wishful thinking or kind words. Her thoughts result in diligent and personal action, which are the only thoughts that count in the sight of God and men (Pr 3:27-28; Jas 2:15-16). She knows that true love is in deed and truth, not merely in word and tongue (I Jn 3:16-18). Moved by God’s love for her, she has bowels of compassion to share her ability and substance with the needy.

The charitable giving here is not easy or passive action. “She stretcheth out her hand,” and, “She reacheth forth her hands.” These words do not convey casual donations or convenient acts of charity. A virtuous woman goes out of her way to meet the poor and needy and help them, even if it requires strenuous effort to accomplish the service. She is not merely available for charity; she volunteers and does the work without any prodding.

The virtuous woman has sympathy for the truly poor and needy (Jas 1:27). She does not exchange mock charity with friends, subdivision neighbors, or peers at work. She knows that giving to the rich will bring God’s judgment (Pr 22:16). Neither does she care or worry about the foolish, lazy, or wasteful (Pr 13:23; 20:4; II Thess 3:10). She, like the Good Samaritan, waits for the Lord to put an act of God in her path (Luke 10:25-37).

She knows godly charity begins with true needs in her extended family – parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents (I Tim 5:4,8,16). It then serves the poor and needy in her church (Acts 2:44-45; Rom 12:13), those in other churches (Matt 25:40; Gal 6:10), and then those God puts in her path (Job 31:16-22; Luke 10:25-37). She is given to hospitality for the saints and known for generosity to strangers (Rom 12:13; I Tim 5:10; Heb 13:2).

A man with a virtuous wife must allow her a discretionary budget for such spending, and it will come back to praise her and him (Pr 31:23,31; II Kgs 4:8-10). Stingy husbands can crush their wives’ hearts and deprive the poor, and they will suffer for it now and later.

A virtuous woman is loved by all and praised by husband and children (Pr 31:28-31; Acts 9:36-42), but her greatest glory is yet to come, when the High King of heaven will take special notice of her charity before the universe (Mat 10:40-42; 25:31-40; I Tim 6:17-19).



Under Gods Command

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity’ she can laugh at the days to come.

A great woman is strong and virtuous. She will not settle for ease or compromise. She chooses courage and resolve. She lives a godly and noble life. Any woman can be great, but only a rare few are. Her future on earth and in heaven will be blessed and happy.

King Lemuel’s mother wrote this description to help her son marry a great woman (Pr 31:1). This kind of woman would help him be a better king and build a noble family and large estate. Every woman should strive for this character; every man should look for it.

A virtuous woman has an eye to the future. She is diligent and makes strenuous efforts to provide for her husband and children. She values integrity and graciousness very highly and does nothing to spoil her reputation. She never sacrifices the future on the altar of the present. She makes the choices now, and applies the efforts now, to yield great rewards in the future. She knows that slothfulness or compromise now will cost her much more later.

The front end of a wife’s life requires strength and honor for her latter end to be joyful and peaceful. Early in marriage, a wife carries, births, nurses, and raises small children, with a high-maintenance husband, on a small budget. The combination is painful for untrained girls. The contrast from the easy life at home during her youth is quite a shock.

But a virtuous woman, made so by God’s grace and good training, will put forth the effort and investment to get through the difficult early years. She knows and accepts the old saying, “A father works from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.” She knows hard work now will bring greater happiness and rewards later, so she perseveres.

When a woman is young, there are also many temptations for folly, which can ruin her productivity or reputation (Ps 25:7; II Tim 2:22; Ezek 23:3,21). She has her own fleshly lusts that she must deal with soberly and strictly. Unless she chooses her friends wisely and guards the inputs to her soul, she can easily fall to foolish habits and sinful thinking.

Especially in a world obsessed with female freedom and frivolity, young women face many difficult tests in faithfulness, integrity, modesty, purity, and sobriety. But the virtuous woman is a chaste virgin before marriage, and she is faithful in heart, mind, speech, and body after marriage. She is strong both in labor and character. She chooses godly virtue in every decision, so that she is honored by God and all good persons.

How is strength and honor her clothing? She puts on these character traits like putting on clothes (Eph 4:22-24). She covers herself with them. Every day when a woman rises, she puts on clothing before showing herself to family or the world. A great woman purposes in heart and mind every morning that she will be strong and honorable that day.

What is strength here? It is diligent labor and vigorous efforts in domestic duties to be the best wife and mother (Pr 14:1; 31:13-27). It is courageous resolve to ignore temptations to folly by her own thoughts or the habits and ideas of family, friends, or the world.

What is honor here? It is her gracious and holy life in heart, tongue, and conduct that does not allow folly or sin to spoil her godly reputation (Pr 11:16; 31:11-12,26,30; Eccl 10:1). She always chooses the high road or noble path in every decision no matter what.

A virtuous woman fears God, which enhances her value more than any beauty or acts of service (Pr 31:28-30). She works harder than other women (Pr 31:17). She is an efficient and faithful wife and mother in duties at home and for the estate (Pr 31:13-27). She is always gracious, which secures her future honor (Pr 11:16; 31:11-12,26). She emphasizes godly character for beauty, rather than clothing or accessories (I Tim 2:9-10; I Pet 3:3-4).

Christian woman! Do not sacrifice your future on the altar of the present. Do not be slack in duties now or compromise godliness now, for it will destroy your future. Put in the effort and holiness now, and your future will be blessed. A virtuous woman will rejoice in the future from her prudent provision for it, her godly and righteous life that leaves a clean conscience, and the praise of others she has loved and served well (Pr 31:28-31).

Even a little folly can ruin a good reputation, like dead flies in good perfume (Eccl 10:1). You must always carefully protect your virtue and family, lest slothfulness brings your family down, or folly destroys your integrity. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and you can put on strength and honor today. If you are faithful to strength and honor, your husband and children will praise you, and so will the Lord Himself (Matt 25:21,23).

Your future happiness depends on diligence and virtue today. Consider child training. A child trained well today will give you joy and peace tomorrow; but a child neglected today will give you pain and shame (Pr 10:1; 17:25; 22:6; 23:13-14; 29:15). The child that should have been for your comfort in old age could drive you to an early grave.

Consider sex. If you cheat with romance novels, movies, or fantasies, it will lead to selfish bitterness toward your husband, marital defrauding, and break you or him down for either his or your adultery (I Cor 7:1-5). You will cause your husband’s bitterness that will make him grow distant and harsh and cost you family praise at the end (Pr 31:28).

A strong and honorable woman has a future of happiness. Her husband loves her more than ever. Her loving children are noble and successful with godly spouses and grandchildren. The family estate is significant with no financial fears. Her conscience is clean and thankful. She has been a tree of life to many in God’s kingdom. Her reputation is known far and wide. God is glorified and will praise her when she arrives in heaven!

Christian girl! You are not married yet, but you can still put on strength and honor for your future happiness and success. How? Be more diligent than any other girl in obeying your parents, keeping your room, helping around the house, and doing your schoolwork. How about honor? Be more careful than any other girl in holy thoughts, kind speech, pure relationships with boys, graciousness to all, and charity toward your enemies.

Christian reader, whether man or woman, you are the bride of Jesus Christ (II Cor 11:1-2; Eph 5:25-27). It is your duty also to clothe yourself with strength and honor. What is strength? A well-fought fight with diligent effort (II Tim 4:7)! What is honor? The apostolic faith earnestly kept in spite of heresies and trends (II Tim 4:7). If you have done these two things, at the end of your course is a crown of righteousness (II Tim 4:7-8)!