Posts Tagged ‘sexual addiction’


Proverbs 7:21With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. 

Women can overpower men – by words! Men crave hearing a woman’s praise, affection, and loyalty. A whore’s flattery is very dangerous. Wicked women use this power to entice men to sin; virtuous women use it to please, protect, and build up their husbands.

Solomon’s long parable about an adulteress seducing a young fool includes the power of her words tempting him to sin with her. Her speech is so powerful, she “caused him to yield” and “forced him” into sexual sin. He is fully guilty for sinning with her, but the wisdom of this proverb is to rightly grasp the danger and power of her flirting words.

In this perverse world, no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is always the man’s fault for sexual problems. Sexual harassment occurs in only one direction for such weak minds and today’s courts. But the LORD and Solomon warned about women seducing and forcing men, and they were right. Women have power (Pr 6:24-25; 7:26; Eccl 7:26).

Whorish women create more sexual temptation for men than lewd men do for women (Pr 23:27-28). Only the basest of women are attracted to crude, forward, and lascivious men. Women are naturally protected by stronger inhibitions, need for commitment, families, laws, and social decorum. But what can protect men from a bold seductress? Proverbs!

Flattery is excessive praise used to seduce someone against his will. It is presenting a matter very favorably in order to make it more pleasant and to beguile the listener. Men love the praise of a woman, for winning the adoration, favor, and devotion of a woman is an instinctive drive placed in their hearts and loins by God. Evil women manipulate this desire in men to prey on them in their various schemes of seduction for selfish purposes.

Whatever inhibitions against sexual sin a man has – by religion, parental training, or noble character – he will often lose them due to the enticing and flattering speech of a desirable woman. The adoration of a woman is an elixir that only a few exceptional men can resist, and then only by the grace of God. Joseph may have resisted Potiphar’s wife, but he was an exception to the general rule of Scripture and human experience.

King Solomon often warned his son about the smooth and silky words of a whorish seductress (Pr 2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 22:14). Wise men will take sober heed and avoid such women, before their lying words steal their souls and virtue. But here he has just described in detail the verbal approach of an adulteress enticing a naïve victim (Pr 7:13-20). His summary in this proverb states the case well. She forced the young man to yield!

Solomon described the whore as using an embrace, a kiss, and a bold, uninhibited face before her words (Pr 7:13). Then he gave a lengthy description of her much fair speech:

  1. I am really a good girl: I am no whore: sleeping with me will not be sin (7:14).
  2. I have made many preparations and have lots of things for a great time (7:14).
  3. My motives are very noble in wanting to share a great time with you (7:15).
  4. I have waited a long time and dreamed often of finding a man like you (7:15).
  5. I am so glad I found you, because I do not want to be with anyone else (7:15).
  6. It is so wonderful to be alone with you and feel the passion between us (7:15).
  7. I have wanted to meet you for a long time; I have made preparations (7:16).
  8. I have arranged things for the ultimate, perfect lovemaking between us (7:16).
  9. I know special things you will love, that other boring women overlook (7:17).
  10. I care about you more than any other woman, so I go to greater efforts (7:17).
  11. We surely have a love between us that no one else has ever had before (7:18).
  12. Let us fully experience the depths of this unique, special love we have (7:18).
  13. No woman has ever felt as strongly about any man as I feel for you (7:18).
  14. Our lovemaking will exceed all the lovemaking in the world’s history (7:18).
  15. The comfort and pleasure we can find in each other will be wonderful (7:18).
  16. Our love and pleasure will last all night – and all our lives – forever (7:18).
  17. Don’t worry about any risk, for my old man is on a long business trip (7:19).
  18. He loves business more than me: I need your love and body so much (7:19).
  19. There is no risk of getting caught; I have figured everything out for us (7:20).
  20. He has money, which he loves; we have a love his money cannot buy (7:20).

Young man, how strong was Samson? Was he stronger than any man? Indeed! He was stronger than you. But whores have slain many strong men (Pr 7:26). Delilah used words to destroy him, even though he knew she wanted to destroy him. Why could he not resist her? Because flattering words from a beautiful woman are too much for most men! Read about his weakness and helplessness before her manipulating flattery (Judges 16:4-21).

Young man, how wise was Solomon? Was he wiser than any man? Indeed! He was wiser than you. But whores have cast down and wounded many great men (Pr 7:26). Exotic women caused even Solomon to sin, against the good advice of his own proverbs (I Kgs 11:1-8; Neh 13:26). Among many nations there was no king like him, and God loved Him, but these women corrupted his great character by power over him (Eccl 7:26).

In avoiding the dangerous flattery of women, you must also guard against seducing words in notes, cards, emails, text messages, tweets, phone messages, letters, forums, or any other forms of communication. It does not matter how a woman’s words arrive in a man’s mind, they are powerful. She can communicate with you more easily today than ever before, and wisdom demands caution in all these new dangers of the 21st century.

Christian woman, guard your speech to men other than your father or husband. Be sober. Hate flirting or flattery. While praise is a wonderful thing, it is too powerful for you to give to men other than on rare occasions and with great discretion. But you should learn to use kind words and feminine adoration of your father and husband, for it can build a man’s soul and character to be the strong and noble creature God intended him to be.

Christian wife, why let the world’s women tempt your husband by your silence or prudery at home? A virtuous wife is skilful in all the arts of lovemaking (Pr 5:19; I Cor 7:1-5; Heb 13:4), including words that comfort, intrigue, arouse, and invite her husband. If you have not been taught such things, you need to read King Solomon’s Song! The book of Proverbs has lessons of wisdom, but his song describes two hot married lovers!

The subtle and damning nature of flattery is seen also in false religion, where good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of simple hearers to sell false doctrine (Rom 16:17-18; II Cor 2:17; 11:3-4,13-15; Col 2:4; II Pet 2:3,18). What is the protection? Look for the plain and simple churches of Jesus Christ with straightforward preaching of the Bible. Look for ministers who provide all things direct and honest (II Cor 4:2). Instead of pulpit manner, look for pulpit content. Instead of presentation, look for doctrine and instruction.


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 5:22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.

Solomon warned about sexual addiction 3000 years ago. Psychologists have only recently stumbled on it. Having warned his son about sexual sins and God’s punishment of them (Pr 5:1-21), Solomon added the sober warning of being bound by those sins for total destruction (Pr 5:22-23). Pleasures of sexual sins for a season may imprison you for life!

The context is plain and simple – sexual intimacy with anyone but your legitimate spouse (Pr 5:1-21). The man of this proverb is a fool that rejected the warnings and proceeded to sin with another woman. His sexual iniquities will take hold of his body and spirit, and he will be held in the chain-like shackles of his sexual sins. They will capture his very soul.

Sexual sins captivate a person’s soul more than others. Alcohol may lead to drunkenness and a chemical addiction, but fornication can lead to obsession with immoral thoughts and activity. Men who sin sexually are seldom recovered (Pr 2:18-19; 5:5-13; 6:26-35; 7:22-27; 9:17-18). Only God’s glorious grace can deliver a man from this bondage.

Sexual sins are also addictive in how they demand more and more stimulus to provide the original thrill. A voyeur seldom remains a voyeur. Few men are content with moderate pornography; they progressively seek more extreme and graphic images in order to feel the same level of sexual and sinful thrill of their first experiences with it.

Pornography itself is a case study in this progressive degeneration. What was called pornography 40-60 years ago is vastly different from pornography today. The difference is remarkable! Fools who began with female nudity in their teens must explore sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia in their forties to get the same kick! And instead of improving marital pleasure, as their hearts lie to them, it destroys marital ability and satisfaction.

Young man! Older man! This proverb is as true as gravity. If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or sodomy, you will destroy yourself. Your own sins will capture and imprison your soul. You will be unable to free yourself. You will never again love God, your wife, or godly living without a miracle from heaven. And God has not promised you or any other fornicator such a gracious and undeserved deliverance.

Consider Samson. He had good parents, was a Nazarite for life, was fearless of other men, and judged Israel twenty years. Samson lusted after Philistine women for their looks (Judges 14:1-3; 16:1), until he was helpless with Delilah. In spite of obvious intentions to destroy him, she was his omnipotent master (Judges 16:4-21). Why did he not catch on? Was he insane? He was a slave to sexual obsession. He ended up blind and a suicide.

Consider Amnon. He had good parents, was the firstborn son of King David, had the true religion of Jehovah, and could have had any eligible woman in Israel. But he sexually fantasized about his sister Tamar until he was sick with obsession for her. His addiction to this fantasy led to violently raping her, consequently hating her, and justifiably being killed by her brother Absalom (II Sam 13:1-39). He was a bond slave to fantasies.

Consider Solomon. He wrote Proverbs. He wrote this proverb. But women destroyed his life (I Kgs 11:4-13). How did it happen? He first married out of the Lord, against God’s command (Deut 7:1-6; I Kgs 3:1). He then became polygamous, also against God’s command (Deut 17:17; I Kings 11:1-3). His love of female variety became his sexual obsession, until he had 1000 women, which destroyed his life (Eccl 7:26-29).

Man! If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or friendship with a woman not wholly the Lord’s, you are a flattering fool. You are a fool, because you have rejected God’s warnings. You are a flattering fool, because you have lied to yourself that you can get away with it. You will soon hate your pet sin, which will destroy you (Ps 36:2).

You are a fool to think you can escape your sin and its punishment by repenting later, for you are in perfect bondage to your lusts; you will neither be able nor willing to set yourself free. If you do escape sexual diseases, the rage of a jealous husband, or the sentence of the judge, you will be infallibly overtaken by the righteous judgment of God.

There is no greater bondage than a child of God who cannot repent and find joy and peace with his Lord. Do you hear me, sinner? He cannot repent! Why can he not repent? Because he has become a slave to his lusts, and his own heart is in the death throes of sinful thoughts and actions. Every time you allow a sinful thought or action in your life, you twist another sinful strand into the cords that will bind you in your sexual sins.

If you are playing with fantasies, pornography, or a sinful relationship, get away now. Flee youthful lusts, Paul would say (II Tim 2:22). Do not go near any place or thing that tempts you to sin sexually (Pr 4:15; 5:8; Ps 101:3; Rom 13:11). Pluck out your right eye or cut off your right hand rather than play with sexual sin, Jesus would say (Mat 5:28-30).

If you are addicted to a sexual sin, your case is not hopeless, but you will never free yourself by your means or strength. You must cut off the sin violently, totally, now! Repent with these words (Job 33:27-28). Beg God’s power in Jesus’ name to deliver you from sin, sex, and Satan. Humble yourself to a spouse, a parent, or a pastor with every condemning detail. Pursue God’s worship in public and private with your whole heart.

Nothing is too hard for the Lord Christ! You can read that harlots went into the kingdom of God before religious Pharisees (Matt 21:31). Paul told of many sexual sinners at Corinth, “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God” (I Cor 6:11).


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 5:22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.

Solomon warned about sexual addiction 3000 years ago. Psychologists have only recently stumbled on it. Having warned his son about sexual sins and God’s punishment of them (Pr 5:1-21), Solomon added the sober warning of being bound by those sins for total destruction (Pr 5:22-23). Pleasures of sexual sins for a season may imprison you for life!

The context is plain and simple – sexual intimacy with anyone but your legitimate spouse (Pr 5:1-21). The man of this proverb is a fool that rejected the warnings and proceeded to sin with another woman. His sexual iniquities will take hold of his body and spirit, and he will be held in the chain-like shackles of his sexual sins. They will capture his very soul.

Sexual sins captivate a person’s soul more than others. Alcohol may lead to drunkenness and a chemical addiction, but fornication can lead to obsession with immoral thoughts and activity. Men who sin sexually are seldom recovered (Pr 2:18-19; 5:5-13; 6:26-35; 7:22-27; 9:17-18). Only God’s glorious grace can deliver a man from this bondage.

Sexual sins are also addictive in how they demand more and more stimulus to provide the original thrill. A voyeur seldom remains a voyeur. Few men are content with moderate pornography; they progressively seek more extreme and graphic images in order to feel the same level of sexual and sinful thrill of their first experiences with it.

Pornography itself is a case study in this progressive degeneration. What was called pornography 40-60 years ago is vastly different from pornography today. The difference is remarkable! Fools who began with female nudity in their teens must explore sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia in their forties to get the same kick! And instead of improving marital pleasure, as their hearts lie to them, it destroys marital ability and satisfaction.

Young man! Older man! This proverb is as true as gravity. If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or sodomy, you will destroy yourself. Your own sins will capture and imprison your soul. You will be unable to free yourself. You will never again love God, your wife, or godly living without a miracle from heaven. And God has not promised you or any other fornicator such a gracious and undeserved deliverance.

Consider Samson. He had good parents, was a Nazarite for life, was fearless of other men, and judged Israel twenty years. Samson lusted after Philistine women for their looks (Judges 14:1-3; 16:1), until he was helpless with Delilah. In spite of obvious intentions to destroy him, she was his omnipotent master (Judges 16:4-21). Why did he not catch on? Was he insane? He was a slave to sexual obsession. He ended up blind and a suicide.

Consider Amnon. He had good parents, was the firstborn son of King David, had the true religion of Jehovah, and could have had any eligible woman in Israel. But he sexually fantasized about his sister Tamar until he was sick with obsession for her. His addiction to this fantasy led to violently raping her, consequently hating her, and justifiably being killed by her brother Absalom (II Sam 13:1-39). He was a bond slave to fantasies.

Consider Solomon. He wrote Proverbs. He wrote this proverb. But women destroyed his life (I Kgs 11:4-13). How did it happen? He first married out of the Lord, against God’s command (Deut 7:1-6; I Kgs 3:1). He then became polygamous, also against God’s command (Deut 17:17; I Kings 11:1-3). His love of female variety became his sexual obsession, until he had 1000 women, which destroyed his life (Eccl 7:26-29).

Man! If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or friendship with a woman not wholly the Lord’s, you are a flattering fool. You are a fool, because you have rejected God’s warnings. You are a flattering fool, because you have lied to yourself that you can get away with it. You will soon hate your pet sin, which will destroy you (Ps 36:2).

You are a fool to think you can escape your sin and its punishment by repenting later, for you are in perfect bondage to your lusts; you will neither be able nor willing to set yourself free. If you do escape sexual diseases, the rage of a jealous husband, or the sentence of the judge, you will be infallibly overtaken by the righteous judgment of God.

There is no greater bondage than a child of God who cannot repent and find joy and peace with his Lord. Do you hear me, sinner? He cannot repent! Why can he not repent? Because he has become a slave to his lusts, and his own heart is in the death throes of sinful thoughts and actions. Every time you allow a sinful thought or action in your life, you twist another sinful strand into the cords that will bind you in your sexual sins.

If you are playing with fantasies, pornography, or a sinful relationship, get away now. Flee youthful lusts, Paul would say (II Tim 2:22). Do not go near any place or thing that tempts you to sin sexually (Pr 4:15; 5:8; Ps 101:3; Rom 13:11). Pluck out your right eye or cut off your right hand rather than play with sexual sin, Jesus would say (Mat 5:28-30).

If you are addicted to a sexual sin, your case is not hopeless, but you will never free yourself by your means or strength. You must cut off the sin violently, totally, now! Repent with these words (Job 33:27-28). Beg God’s power in Jesus’ name to deliver you from sin, sex, and Satan. Humble yourself to a spouse, a parent, or a pastor with every condemning detail. Pursue God’s worship in public and private with your whole heart.

Nothing is too hard for the Lord Christ! You can read that harlots went into the kingdom of God before religious Pharisees (Matt 21:31). Paul told of many sexual sinners at Corinth, “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God” (I Cor 6:11).