Posts Tagged ‘sexual desires’


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 5:22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.

Solomon warned about sexual addiction 3000 years ago. Psychologists have only recently stumbled on it. Having warned his son about sexual sins and God’s punishment of them (Pr 5:1-21), Solomon added the sober warning of being bound by those sins for total destruction (Pr 5:22-23). Pleasures of sexual sins for a season may imprison you for life!

The context is plain and simple – sexual intimacy with anyone but your legitimate spouse (Pr 5:1-21). The man of this proverb is a fool that rejected the warnings and proceeded to sin with another woman. His sexual iniquities will take hold of his body and spirit, and he will be held in the chain-like shackles of his sexual sins. They will capture his very soul.

Sexual sins captivate a person’s soul more than others. Alcohol may lead to drunkenness and a chemical addiction, but fornication can lead to obsession with immoral thoughts and activity. Men who sin sexually are seldom recovered (Pr 2:18-19; 5:5-13; 6:26-35; 7:22-27; 9:17-18). Only God’s glorious grace can deliver a man from this bondage.

Sexual sins are also addictive in how they demand more and more stimulus to provide the original thrill. A voyeur seldom remains a voyeur. Few men are content with moderate pornography; they progressively seek more extreme and graphic images in order to feel the same level of sexual and sinful thrill of their first experiences with it.

Pornography itself is a case study in this progressive degeneration. What was called pornography 40-60 years ago is vastly different from pornography today. The difference is remarkable! Fools who began with female nudity in their teens must explore sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia in their forties to get the same kick! And instead of improving marital pleasure, as their hearts lie to them, it destroys marital ability and satisfaction.

Young man! Older man! This proverb is as true as gravity. If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or sodomy, you will destroy yourself. Your own sins will capture and imprison your soul. You will be unable to free yourself. You will never again love God, your wife, or godly living without a miracle from heaven. And God has not promised you or any other fornicator such a gracious and undeserved deliverance.

Consider Samson. He had good parents, was a Nazarite for life, was fearless of other men, and judged Israel twenty years. Samson lusted after Philistine women for their looks (Judges 14:1-3; 16:1), until he was helpless with Delilah. In spite of obvious intentions to destroy him, she was his omnipotent master (Judges 16:4-21). Why did he not catch on? Was he insane? He was a slave to sexual obsession. He ended up blind and a suicide.

Consider Amnon. He had good parents, was the firstborn son of King David, had the true religion of Jehovah, and could have had any eligible woman in Israel. But he sexually fantasized about his sister Tamar until he was sick with obsession for her. His addiction to this fantasy led to violently raping her, consequently hating her, and justifiably being killed by her brother Absalom (II Sam 13:1-39). He was a bond slave to fantasies.

Consider Solomon. He wrote Proverbs. He wrote this proverb. But women destroyed his life (I Kgs 11:4-13). How did it happen? He first married out of the Lord, against God’s command (Deut 7:1-6; I Kgs 3:1). He then became polygamous, also against God’s command (Deut 17:17; I Kings 11:1-3). His love of female variety became his sexual obsession, until he had 1000 women, which destroyed his life (Eccl 7:26-29).

Man! If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or friendship with a woman not wholly the Lord’s, you are a flattering fool. You are a fool, because you have rejected God’s warnings. You are a flattering fool, because you have lied to yourself that you can get away with it. You will soon hate your pet sin, which will destroy you (Ps 36:2).

You are a fool to think you can escape your sin and its punishment by repenting later, for you are in perfect bondage to your lusts; you will neither be able nor willing to set yourself free. If you do escape sexual diseases, the rage of a jealous husband, or the sentence of the judge, you will be infallibly overtaken by the righteous judgment of God.

There is no greater bondage than a child of God who cannot repent and find joy and peace with his Lord. Do you hear me, sinner? He cannot repent! Why can he not repent? Because he has become a slave to his lusts, and his own heart is in the death throes of sinful thoughts and actions. Every time you allow a sinful thought or action in your life, you twist another sinful strand into the cords that will bind you in your sexual sins.

If you are playing with fantasies, pornography, or a sinful relationship, get away now. Flee youthful lusts, Paul would say (II Tim 2:22). Do not go near any place or thing that tempts you to sin sexually (Pr 4:15; 5:8; Ps 101:3; Rom 13:11). Pluck out your right eye or cut off your right hand rather than play with sexual sin, Jesus would say (Mat 5:28-30).

If you are addicted to a sexual sin, your case is not hopeless, but you will never free yourself by your means or strength. You must cut off the sin violently, totally, now! Repent with these words (Job 33:27-28). Beg God’s power in Jesus’ name to deliver you from sin, sex, and Satan. Humble yourself to a spouse, a parent, or a pastor with every condemning detail. Pursue God’s worship in public and private with your whole heart.

Nothing is too hard for the Lord Christ! You can read that harlots went into the kingdom of God before religious Pharisees (Matt 21:31). Paul told of many sexual sinners at Corinth, “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God” (I Cor 6:11).


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 7:13 She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said:

Here is the strange woman at work. Solomon continued his lengthy description of a whorish woman seducing a young man. Here are three aspects of her character and conduct. She was physically aggressive; she used kisses to seduce; she was immodestly and shamelessly bold. She caught him; she kissed him; she spoke sexually to him.

Virtuous women are physically aggressive, great kissers, and uninhibited – with their husbands in marriage! To other men, and before marriage, they are reserved, modest, and shamefaced. But the strange woman – the adulteress – pursues men outside marriage, kisses men outside marriage, and is immodestly and shamelessly bold outside marriage.

A godly woman is not physically aggressive before marriage – she is chaste, pure, and reserves herself totally for her husband (II Cor 11:2). She is ready to be aggressive; she wants to be aggressive; but she understands the power of sexual temptation, and she will do nothing to arouse any man, even her fiancé. Her father also understands, and he keeps her from being alone with a man for even the opportunity of sin, especially her fiancé.

Once a godly woman is married, she is an aggressive lover, following the holy example of the Shulamite in Solomon’s Song (Song 1:2-4,12-14; 2:3-7; 3:1-5; 5:2-16; 8:1-4). What makes the difference? God’s approval of passionate lovemaking in marriage, where both spouses are to be fully satisfied (Pr 5:19; I Cor 7:1-5; Heb 13:4)! The world mocks such virgins before marriage, but real Christian women are the greatest lovers on earth.

Whores are aggressive before marriage and outside marriage! In Solomon’s parable, she physically grabbed the young man. She was the aggressor, and such sexual boldness is glamorized daily for all young girls by the entertainment industry, though only two generations ago most girls were reserved sexually. Only a few men are strong enough to resist such aggression. Joseph was an exception, and a glorious one (Gen 39:7-12). What can a man do? Follow Solomon’s advice, and stay far away from them (Pr 5:8; 7:8).

There are several kinds of kisses. A godly woman knows the differences, and she reserves the intimate ones for marriage. Under cultural, spiritual, or other circumstances, she may kiss a variety of men and women with a saluting kiss of greeting. Rachel, and her father Laban, both kissed Jacob this way (Gen 29:11,13), which is referred to by Paul as a holy kiss, for its total lack of even a hint of sexual intent (Rom 16:16; II Cor 13:12).

Real kisses are for marriage – they are part of lovemaking. They can be more intimate and personal than other sex acts, as they involve such close proximity of faces, eyes, and mouths. The Shulamite gloried in the kisses of lovemaking with her husband (Song 1:2; 5:16; 7:9). But she knew better than to ever give such an intimate and personal invitation to any other man, and she had likely not given it to Solomon before their wedding night.

Whores use kisses before marriage and outside marriage to arouse men and invite them to lovemaking, when they have no right to do so. Whores, by much practice, can raise a man’s sexual drive sky high by kissing. Virtuous girls, ignorant and inexperienced, send a very wrong impression by allowing an intimate kiss before marriage. Solomon’s strange woman, a whore with malicious designs, initiated the kiss herself to seduce her victim.

Why kiss intimately before marriage? What is the purpose? Does it help qualify the other person? Does it help keep your relationship pure until it is sanctified by marriage? Or does it provoke a strong temptation in the mind and body that seeks for full lovemaking? Why create such a horrible predicament? Why increase sexual tension and frustration before marriage? You can learn more about the other person with mature chaperones!

And also, memory of other kisses – enjoyed without the difficulties of married life – may haunt your soul in the future. Why not limit your experience and pleasure of kissing to the one to whom you are married – after you are married? Is this bizarre and strange to you? Holiness is strange in the 21st century! And remember young man, the girl who aggressively kisses you early, will more easily kiss another later, even if married to you!

Fathers are responsible to keep daughters from situations where kissing and other stages of foreplay are possible. There is no reason for a dating couple to ever be alone. What is the purpose or value? There is nothing learned by being alone that cannot be learned in a fraction of that time with helpful chaperones. Girls should be taught the glory and joy of marriage and the lovemaking that is part of it, but they should not have to face those difficult moments alone with a man, when passions are high, even if it is their fiancé.

A virtuous girl or woman is bashful, chaste, modest, and reserved in speech with any man, even her fiancé before marriage. Bold sexual speech is another way men are aroused, as proven by popularity of 1-900 calls, chat rooms, Facebook, texting, sexting, etc. Girls seeking to please their heavenly Father and show kind regard to men, especially their fiancé, will reserve all sexual conversation to one man, and only after marriage.

Whores have no modesty or reserve, and by previous loss of God-given inhibitions, they are very bold in verbal sexual invitations. They do not blush (Jer 3:3). Solomon’s strange woman boldly described the sexual pleasure she was able and willing to give the young fool (Pr 7:14-21). Not inferior to any of her other attractive features, the flattering speech of a strange woman is overpowering (Pr 2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 22:14). Just ask Samson!

What should a wise man do? Same answer as before! Stay away from her! Far away from her! If you are far from her, how can she grab you, kiss you, or talk to you? If you do not go near her, her haunts, or her activities, you will never face these powerful temptations that destroy many strong men (Pr 7:26; 23:28). Stay away from many coed gyms, nightclubs, personal email exchanges, office parties, Internet chat rooms, dances, texting, beaches, or close relationships or frequent conversations with any woman but your wife.


Under Gods Command

Sexual Temptations are difficult to withstand because they appeal to the normal and nature desires that God has given us.  Marriage provides God’s way to satisfy these natural sexual desires and to strengthen the partners against temptation.  Married couples have the responsibility to care for each other; therefore husbands and wives should not withhold themselves sexually from one another, but should fulfill each other’s needs and desires.

1 Corinthians 7:3-6 – The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  

A preacher once said “People say that the grass is not greener on the other side, well it depends what side is being water the most”.  Do not lead each other into temptation, because that is exactly what you are doing if you are denying each other of sexual attention.


Under Gods Command
Sexual Temptations are difficult to withstand because they appeal to the normal and nature desires that God has given us. Marriage provides God’s way to satisfy these natural sexual desires and to strengthen the partners against temptation. Married couples have the responsibility to care for each other; therefore husbands and wives should not withhold themselves sexually from one another, but should fulfill each other’s needs and desires.

1 Corinthians 7:3-6 – The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

A preacher once said “People say that the grass is not greener on the other side, well it depends what side is being water the most”. Do not lead each other into temptation, because that is exactly what you are doing if you are denying each other of sexual attention.