Posts Tagged ‘sexual dysfunction’


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 5:22 The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast.

Solomon warned about sexual addiction 3000 years ago. Psychologists have only recently stumbled on it. Having warned his son about sexual sins and God’s punishment of them (Pr 5:1-21), Solomon added the sober warning of being bound by those sins for total destruction (Pr 5:22-23). Pleasures of sexual sins for a season may imprison you for life!

The context is plain and simple – sexual intimacy with anyone but your legitimate spouse (Pr 5:1-21). The man of this proverb is a fool that rejected the warnings and proceeded to sin with another woman. His sexual iniquities will take hold of his body and spirit, and he will be held in the chain-like shackles of his sexual sins. They will capture his very soul.

Sexual sins captivate a person’s soul more than others. Alcohol may lead to drunkenness and a chemical addiction, but fornication can lead to obsession with immoral thoughts and activity. Men who sin sexually are seldom recovered (Pr 2:18-19; 5:5-13; 6:26-35; 7:22-27; 9:17-18). Only God’s glorious grace can deliver a man from this bondage.

Sexual sins are also addictive in how they demand more and more stimulus to provide the original thrill. A voyeur seldom remains a voyeur. Few men are content with moderate pornography; they progressively seek more extreme and graphic images in order to feel the same level of sexual and sinful thrill of their first experiences with it.

Pornography itself is a case study in this progressive degeneration. What was called pornography 40-60 years ago is vastly different from pornography today. The difference is remarkable! Fools who began with female nudity in their teens must explore sodomy, bestiality, and pedophilia in their forties to get the same kick! And instead of improving marital pleasure, as their hearts lie to them, it destroys marital ability and satisfaction.

Young man! Older man! This proverb is as true as gravity. If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or sodomy, you will destroy yourself. Your own sins will capture and imprison your soul. You will be unable to free yourself. You will never again love God, your wife, or godly living without a miracle from heaven. And God has not promised you or any other fornicator such a gracious and undeserved deliverance.

Consider Samson. He had good parents, was a Nazarite for life, was fearless of other men, and judged Israel twenty years. Samson lusted after Philistine women for their looks (Judges 14:1-3; 16:1), until he was helpless with Delilah. In spite of obvious intentions to destroy him, she was his omnipotent master (Judges 16:4-21). Why did he not catch on? Was he insane? He was a slave to sexual obsession. He ended up blind and a suicide.

Consider Amnon. He had good parents, was the firstborn son of King David, had the true religion of Jehovah, and could have had any eligible woman in Israel. But he sexually fantasized about his sister Tamar until he was sick with obsession for her. His addiction to this fantasy led to violently raping her, consequently hating her, and justifiably being killed by her brother Absalom (II Sam 13:1-39). He was a bond slave to fantasies.

Consider Solomon. He wrote Proverbs. He wrote this proverb. But women destroyed his life (I Kgs 11:4-13). How did it happen? He first married out of the Lord, against God’s command (Deut 7:1-6; I Kgs 3:1). He then became polygamous, also against God’s command (Deut 17:17; I Kings 11:1-3). His love of female variety became his sexual obsession, until he had 1000 women, which destroyed his life (Eccl 7:26-29).

Man! If you play with fantasies, pornography, fornication, or friendship with a woman not wholly the Lord’s, you are a flattering fool. You are a fool, because you have rejected God’s warnings. You are a flattering fool, because you have lied to yourself that you can get away with it. You will soon hate your pet sin, which will destroy you (Ps 36:2).

You are a fool to think you can escape your sin and its punishment by repenting later, for you are in perfect bondage to your lusts; you will neither be able nor willing to set yourself free. If you do escape sexual diseases, the rage of a jealous husband, or the sentence of the judge, you will be infallibly overtaken by the righteous judgment of God.

There is no greater bondage than a child of God who cannot repent and find joy and peace with his Lord. Do you hear me, sinner? He cannot repent! Why can he not repent? Because he has become a slave to his lusts, and his own heart is in the death throes of sinful thoughts and actions. Every time you allow a sinful thought or action in your life, you twist another sinful strand into the cords that will bind you in your sexual sins.

If you are playing with fantasies, pornography, or a sinful relationship, get away now. Flee youthful lusts, Paul would say (II Tim 2:22). Do not go near any place or thing that tempts you to sin sexually (Pr 4:15; 5:8; Ps 101:3; Rom 13:11). Pluck out your right eye or cut off your right hand rather than play with sexual sin, Jesus would say (Mat 5:28-30).

If you are addicted to a sexual sin, your case is not hopeless, but you will never free yourself by your means or strength. You must cut off the sin violently, totally, now! Repent with these words (Job 33:27-28). Beg God’s power in Jesus’ name to deliver you from sin, sex, and Satan. Humble yourself to a spouse, a parent, or a pastor with every condemning detail. Pursue God’s worship in public and private with your whole heart.

Nothing is too hard for the Lord Christ! You can read that harlots went into the kingdom of God before religious Pharisees (Matt 21:31). Paul told of many sexual sinners at Corinth, “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God” (I Cor 6:11).


Under Gods Command

Proverbs 7:19 My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey

Fornicators and adulterers often say, “We will not get caught.” In this proverb, an adulteress enticed her victim by promising safety for a secret liaison. Lying no less than Satan to Eve, she told him no harm would come, for her husband was traveling. Lying no less than Delilah to Samson, she did not tell him that his God was not on a long journey!

The older English word “goodman” means a husband. The sly Jezebel here in Solomon’s parable used this word to speak of her husband distantly and disrespectfully (Pr 2:17), to keep both consciences silent from thinking of her innocent husband, her lover from her youth. Adultery usually requires some degree of criticism of spouses for it to ever occur.

Using male pronouns like “he” and “him” to slight her diligent husband (Pr 7:19-20), she suggested her own bed as a safe place for their tryst (Pr 7:16-17). She offered much time for great lovemaking, as he would be gone a good while (Pr 7:20). See the comments on Pr 7:18. It is godly wisdom for women to remember the reverence of Sarah (I Pet 3:5-6).

She further spoke of her husband’s long journey, and implied frequent business trips by it, to solicit sympathy from the fool that she was lonely and needed his love and affection. How many adulterers have excused their heinous sin by blaming a spouse, when it is rather a lack of the fear of God and temperance to keep them content in their marriage?

Sin is deceitful, but sexual sins are more deceitful than most (Pr 3:13). The short pleasure can be so great and the distant consequences so obscure, sexual sins are considered victimless as long as both parties consent. But sin does not tell you about sexual diseases, unwanted pregnancies, guilt, shame, jealous husbands or angry fathers, future sexual dysfunction, unwanted memories, confusion of love and sex, resentment, loneliness, etc.

America and much of the world now entertain themselves with such sexual intrigues as this parable describes by their songs, novels, and movies. Adultery is epidemic and encouraged by the media for women to find themselves and for older women to have fun with younger men. Men think it is their prerogative and role to bed as many women as possible. But what does God and the Bible say about such heinous wickedness?

Solomon’s lesson here would be a great plot for a movie or novel today, and the whore would be the heroine. All would enjoy her arts of beguiling the young man; her conquest would be celebrated as the triumph of love; the drama would conclude pleasantly; and most young men that saw or read it would desire to be so lucky. Thus fools make a mock at sin (Pr 14:9). Thus Satan sells his poison (Ps 101:3). But what does the LORD say?

He condemned both parties to death (Lev 20:10; Deut 22:22-24; II Sam 12:13; John 8:5). What if both were consenting? It is a sin worthy of death (Heb 13:4; Rev 21:8). A husband in Israel returning from a business trip could take his wife to the priests for the test of jealousy, with no need for circumstantial evidence. If she were guilty of sexual infidelity, her belly would swell and her genitals would rot immediately (Num 5:11-31).

Business trips are often more dangerous for men, for there are many temptations in a fine hotel far from home, with much time, luxurious food and wine, and anonymity. Let every man that nameth the name of Christ limit his travels and keep his vessel (I Thess 4:1-8). To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Let Joseph be your example (Gen 39:7-12).

Keep your marital separations to a minimum. Separation only makes the heart grow fonder if both parties are godly and the separation necessary. Otherwise, spouses have daily lovemaking obligations, and unnecessary separations become covenant breaking and defrauding and give sexual place to Satan (I Cor 7:1-5). God knew separations would occur due to business and war, so He prohibited them for the first year (Deut 24:5).

A virtuous woman can always be trusted, no matter where she is (Pr 31:10-12). Yet to be safe, women should limit and guard their time away from home (Pr 7:11-12; I Tim 5:12-15), for the woman is an easy target for seduction (Pr 30:19-20; Gen 3:1-6; I Tim 2:14; I Pet 3:7). She can help herself much by staying busy at home (Pr 31:13-27; Titus 2:3-5). And she must have fulfilling and frequent lovemaking with her husband (I Cor 7:1-5).

Though a husband leaves for a long business trip, the eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching everything the sinful wife thinks and does, and be sure her sin will find her out (Pr 15:3; Num 32:23). The husband far from home should remember that God watches his sexual intentions and actions also (Pr 5:21; Job 34:22; Jer 23:24; Heb 4:13). Beware!

Dear reader, the goodman of the church will soon return, the Lord of glory, the bridegroom and husband of the church (Matt 24:42-51; Mark 13:34-37; I Thess 3:13; 5:1-10; II Pet 3:9-17). Will He find you waiting in adoring purity and faithfulness? Or in bed with the world (James 4:4)? The pleasure of meeting Him confidently far exceeds any pleasures of sin for a season here, ask Moses or Jesus (Heb 11:24-26; Mark 10:28-30).