Under Gods Command 

Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife

Why are some men often away from home? They hunt, work extra hours, golf, live in their workshop, manicure the lawn, stay in the basement, or listen to music with headphones. Why? They are avoiding the dreadful creature they foolishly married. These poor men made a life-ruining choice by marrying a contentious and debating woman.

God created Eve to be the perfect companion for Adam, and she was (Gen 2:18-25). Marriage gives a man his own wife for pleasant company, mutual help, and sexual pleasure (Eccl 4:9-12; 9:9; I Cor 7:1-5). But sin in Eden and ever since has corrupted God’s design, and proud and selfish women become yapping, nagging irritants at home.

How does sin corrupt God’s creation (Eccl 7:29)? A man’s greatest pleasure becomes his severest pain! His greatest treasure his largest loss! His best friend his worst enemy! His source of peace and comfort his endless misery (Pr 12:4)! When the tortured victim realizes his grave error, his spirit is stricken, and he is forced to surrender and withdraw from her presence to find his only comfort in the quiet solitude of other pursuits.

A brawling woman is a quarrelsome, wrangling, clamorous, noisy, or bawling woman. You have mostly heard her – she is usually talking, correcting, debating, scolding, suggesting, reminding, and otherwise making herself an unbearable nuisance. Attempts to correct her meet with failure, for her unruly pride cannot submit or shut up.

How widespread is the problem? Solomon warned five other times with proverbs similar to this one (Pr 12:4; 19:13; 21:19; 25:24; 27:15-16). It is a common problem, especially in this rebellious age, when women no longer know their God-ordained place. It is a dangerous trap waiting to entice young men by its bait and then spring shut on them.

It is better – do you hear the Preacher? He gave one of the wise priorities of life. It is better to live on the roof than in a large house with such a woman. It is better to be single, alone and lonely, than to cohabit with this onerous wretch in a joyless marriage. It is better to stay in the workshop making another piece of worthless furniture than to try to have any peace or pleasure with the female know-it-all that has taken over your house.

God, who created the woman for the man, declared that a meek and quiet spirit is of great price, far better than improving appearance (I Pet 3:3-4). External decorating can never cover the inward blemish of a contentious spirit (Pr 11:22; 27:15-16). He promised such a woman will be praised by husband and children (Pr 31:28). Such noble and virtuous women should be honored and praised, and the odious wives of this proverb should be ignored and slighted for punishment and an example to others (Pr 11:16; 26:1-12).

Young man, reject her! Thoughtless impulse, desperate need, or foolish infatuation will torment you for fifty years. Let married men meet and test your prospect and her mother; let them check for a whiff of that odious spirit. Any character flaw you find before marriage will be ten times worse later (Pr 30:21-23). And this deformity does not improve with age, but rather gets worse. Your only hope will be the mercy of death.

Henpecked husband, have you already married poorly? If she fears the LORD, take her to the Bible and help her read her Creator’s orders. Find a church where the man of God will rebuke and instruct her for you. Expose her to gracious women. If she does not fear the Lord, get some snacks and pick the corner of the roof with the least exposure.

Christian girl or woman, hate this repulsive creature as much as the strange woman. Listen for her constant chatter, foolish laughter, whining complaints, negative observations, rude interruptions, overbearing corrections, nagging reminders, selfish suggestions, or haughty questions. Vow before the LORD your God you will never live one day of her life. Vow that you will glorify God and adorn your sex by graciousness.

Submission is your role and duty (Eph 5:22-24); rejecting it destroys your true beauty. Graciousness will get you perpetual respect (Pr 11:16); reverence will earn you constant esteem (Eph 5:33; I Pet 3:5-6); reserved speech will exalt your name and reputation (Pr 17:27). Be quiet – surely you know what this word means. Be meek – endure offences rather than avenge them or defend yourself. You will be praised by both God and men.

  1. MH says:

    Great article. However, what about the wife who did all those virtuous things for years and years and never got reciprocrated by the husband? What about the wife that quietly and respectfully submitted to her husband only to have her husband do every possible unimaginable thing a Christian man should do? What about the wife that has spent decades putting her husband’s needs, life and wants ahead of hers only to find out that is still not good enough. Listen my friend, yes there are plenty of nagging women out there, but when a christian woman who has done all that still cannot see a change in her christian husband, even when praying for him on her knees every single day, when years and years go by and the husband continues to live a life of no spiritual discipline, or disrespect towards the wife by making messes the likes of what a room full of unruly teenagers would, or by watching ungodly shows on the tv, or by keeping friendships with ungodly women who have a history of breaking marriages, when a christian husband chooses to do those things SOMEONE has to say something about it and it is usually the wife! Why? Because SHE’s the punching bag! SHE’s the one dealing with it! NOT the friends or the coworkers or his family, no, THE WIFE! The one that has to put up with it EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 30 YEARS! At some freaking point in time it needs to change!! Trust me, i know what Im talking about. The novelty wears off. Just like people like you for whom it is obviously much easier said than done. Let me tell you something, the next time you want to talk about the nagging wife, start with a quiz for husbands to see exactly what it is THEY are doing to cause the nagging. Because honey the rain doesnt start pouring until the clouds get full!

    • Drgnfly says:

      Great response and thank you for writing it. A marriage is an agreement to love, respect and support each other. This article would lead one to believe God’s purpose and plan is for men only and women are nothing more than their servants. Women should be quiet and tolerate all sorts of inconsiderate, immature and selfish behavior or be labeled evil nags? This is ridiculous. And as far as “testing” a woman – I wouldnt do that to my dog let alone a human being. Stop twisting passages from the Bible to disguise the fact that you are a woman hater. And maybe you should take your own advice – and spare some poor woman a miserable life – and STAY SINGLE.

  2. Love what you wrote, and when you got a wife who does all that and that is not good enough, I agree the Husband has a serious problem. I really felt the energy from your reply.

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