Posts Tagged ‘conflicts of others’


Proverbs 13:10 Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. 

Pride causes fights! And it is the main cause of fights! Without pride, fighting and strife would quickly end. It is arrogant confidence and haughty self-importance that keeps contention – conflicts and quarrels – going. But wise men are humble and prudent to hear other opinions, avoid contentious men, and pass over offences. They are peacemakers.

If there is fighting in your life, family, business, or church, it is because of pride. Is it your adversary’s pride, your pride, or both? A wise man will do what he can to end war and wrangling. He will use soft words (Pr 15:1), gifts (Pr 21:14), love (Pr 10:12), or slow responses (Pr 15:18) to pacify anger and gain peace. He would rather be defrauded or offended than to fight, so he will pass over offences (Pr 19:11; I Cor 6:7).

Men quarrel and war for many reasons, but pride is the trigger or the fuel that initiates, sustains, and escalates fighting (Pr 28:25; 21:24). Believe it! Solomon wrote this about proud fools: “Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him” (Pr 26:12). It is impossible to deal with a proud man, for there is no way to convince him of anything against the arrogant conceit of his own thoughts and desires.

James asked these questions, “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members (Jas 4:1)? Then he answered with a question and statement, “Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” (Jas 4:5-6). The root cause of fighting is pride. Solomon and James wrote the same thing, inspired by one Author.

If covetousness, envy, passion, and revenge have roles in conflicts, pride has the lead role. Pride makes men impatient, angry over slights, resentful of contradiction, envious of advantage, angry at competition, scornful of correction, revengeful of offences, conceited of opinion, domineering of conversation, critical of weaknesses, and void of forgiveness. Pride causes these and other perversities of the human soul. God, have mercy and help!

A well-advised man is knowledgeable, wise, and prudent. He asks and receives advice, for he knows safety is in many counselors (Pr 24:6). He is slow to speak, knowing haste exalts folly and does not produce true righteousness (Pr 14:29; Jas 1:20). He ends conflicts by passing over offences (Pr 19:11), fleeing angry men (Pr 22:24-25; 29:22), and cutting off backbiting tongues (Pr 25:23). He hates pride in himself and others (Pr 8:13)! He knows getting down is both wise and Christ-like (Pr 11:2; Rom 12:16).

Peacemakers are the great ones in the kingdom of God (Matt 5:9), for His kingdom is a kingdom of peace (Rom 14:17-19). You should use all your power toward this goal (Rom 12:18; Eph 4:3). If you want to prosper with a happy and long life, then be a peacemaker (Ps 34:12-16). Where can you make peace today? Do it! Let nothing hinder you.

It is the hellish wisdom of the devil that leads to bitterness and fighting, and you should never think or say that such contention is good or acceptable. It also leads to further confusion and corruption in your life (Jas 3:14-16). But the heavenly wisdom of God is peaceable, gentle, full of mercy, and makes peace (Jas 3:17-18). This passage by James is worth its weight in gold. Get familiar with these verses and obey them always.

There is no place for pride or contention among believers (I Cor 11:16). Pride is not of the Father, but of the world (I Jn 2:16). Pride was the sin of the devil (I Tim 3:6). Reader, humble yourself beneath the mighty hand of God, that He might exalt you in due time (I Pet 5:6). If there is any conflict, cold war, quarrel, or strife in which you have any role at all, end it immediately, lest it corrupt your worship in God’s sight (Matt 5:21-26


Under Gods Command

 Proverbs 26:17- Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.

Seizing the ears of a stray dog is a good way to get bitten, and interfering in arguments is a good way to get hurt.  Many times both arguers will turn on the person who interferes.  It is best simply to keep out of arguments that are none or your business.  If you must become involved, try to wait until the arguers have stopped fighting and cooled off a bit. Then maybe you can help them mend their differences and their relationship.

Even a friendly dog will bite, if you grab and pull its ears! And here is the busybody, stopping to get involved in the strife of others, who will soon be bitten by both parties! The Preacher taught you the wisdom of not getting involved in the conflicts of others.

Peacemakers are wonderful (Matt 5:9). But the greatest work of making peace involves your own fighting. If you have offended another, you are to make peace with him (Matt 5:23-26). If another has offended you, you are to make peace with him (Matt 18:15-22).

By great care, and only after wise reflection, should you get involved in others’ conflicts and try to make peace for them. For even your own strife, which you know well, is to be resolved with caution, let alone that of which you are ignorant (Pr 25:8). After wise thought, make sure your words are good ones spoken in due season (Pr 15:23; 16:20).

Spiritual and wise men should try to help others with their conflicts and problems (Rom 15:1-3; Gal 6:1-3), which includes fighting and strife. You are your brothers’ keepers in such things (Lev 19:17; I Thess 5:14). And those in authority, as parents and pastors, have the honorable right and obligation to search out matters (Pr 25:2).

But some people are busybodies. They love to be busy in other men’s matters (I Peter 4:15). This is a sin, and it is to be strictly avoided by wise men and women. Consider Peter’s strong warning by association, which compares murderers, thieves, and evildoers!

Meddlers love to get involved in disputes between others. They love digging up evil between others and spreading it. It makes them feel important to be involved in others’ problems, though they are always the worst at solving their own problems. They love the inside information of private controversies. It gives them a perverse sense of worth.

Some at Thessalonica were so eager for this sin they even stopped working. Paul wrote, “For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread” (II Thess 3:11-12). He had written in the first epistle, “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you” (I Thess 4:11).

Women have a great temptation to be meddlers, or busybodies, in strife not belonging to them. So Paul recommended marriage and children for young widows, to keep them from idleness and the temptation of such folly (I Tim 5:12-15). A busy woman who is conscientious about her duties will not have time or interest in such dangerous things. Idleness is a curse on any people, as it was in Sodom of old (Ezek 16:49). The true adage declares, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” Stay busy, and do not meddle.

The Lord Jesus Christ was perfectly virtuous in this matter. “And one of the company said unto him, Master, speak to my brother, that he divide the inheritance with me. And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you” (Luke 12:13-14)? Dear reader, follow this holy example of Jesus today. The difference is very great between suffering as a busybody and suffering as a Christian (I Pet 4:14-16).